Sungguh gemilang negeriku

Sungguh gemilang negeriku

Yang kupuja oh tanah airku

Di merata dunia

Harum semerbak namamu oh Malaysia

Langgar Tembok

Ada sikit-sikit langgar divider dengan sengaja
Tapi harapnya masih ok

11 Oktober 2019

Hari ini 11 Oktober 2019.
Aku mulakan yang baru, berlangsung selama 90 hari.
Aku ingin sekali catatkan khabar gembira.

A Broken Vase

I am a broken vase. In many cultures, a broken vase is thrown away. But I heard that in classic Japanese society, a broken vase is treasured. A broken vase is resealed with gold. Therefore a broken vase is much more valuable than its original.

In a way, I am broken. My life has changed after the stroke in 2016. I had to close my firm end of 2017. I lost custody of four beloved children. I came back to my childhood home to recuperate. 

My stroke was caused by uncontrolled high blood pressure and probably also uncontrolled blood sugar. I was lucky because I was considered “young” at 46 to have suffered from stroke, and that it was a mild one. It was mere clotting and not haemorrhage. My right arm was affected. But my left hand could not tell the temperature of the iron, or the tap water. I could not stand up because I would fall down. I could not even take a bath. I did not eat for my entire period in the hospital. I had to be fed by a tube on a special milk. My vision was blurred and I could not see the clock on the wall.

(to continue)

Lotus

Friday 13th

 I read this story when I was nine or so. It was from a kids’ magazine called Dunia Kanak-Kanak.

Tinggallah seorang tukang topi di desa Tanggerang. Tukang topi itu bertukang topi dan menjual topi-topinya di bawah sebatang pohon yang besar dan rendang. Suatu malam, tukang topi itu bermimpi. Dia akan bertemu dengan peti harta karun dan dia akan menjadi kaya-raya selepas itu. Dia mengembara begitu jauh mencari harta karun tersebut. Setelah keletihan dia bertemu dengan seseorang dan dia menceritakan tentang mimpinya. Orang itu pun berkata; “aku bermimpi temui seorang tukang topi di sebuah desa bernama Tanggerang. Tukang topi itu bertukang dan menjual topinya di bawah sepohon pokok yang besar. Di bawah pohon besar itu tertanam  harta karun. Tetapi aku tidak percaya kepada mimpi seperti itu. Aku tidak akan membuang masa mempercayai mimpi.  Janganlah kamu percaya kepada mimpi. Mimpi itu karut belaka. Balik sahajalah ke kampungmu.”

Tukang topi itupun balik ke kampungnya, dan sungguh, di bawah pohon besar tersebut tertanam harta karun yang dimimpikan oleh tukang topi itu.

Compare this story with The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. See if you are not able to extract these points :-

1)      You must dare to dream.

2)      You must work hard to realize your dream.

3)      That that will enrich you, it is already inside you. You don’t have to go far.

On top of all these, I want to add that :-

1.     once you have made a decision, you must tawakkal 
        to Allah and seek His guidance always.
2.     stick to your own definition of dream and wealth. 
        The meaning given must please Him not otherwise

Week 26 : 17th June till 23rd June 2019

17th June
18th June
19th June     Buat EPF withdrawal. Parking kat PTG and jalan kaki. Went to PTD Kota Setar.
20th June     Hujan lebat kat ofis 9.00 am. Jamuan Raya kat Kedah Bar.. Sob sob emails to jlt
21st June
22nd June   
23rd June     Mak beli buai outdoor, freezer. Mungkinkah Dewi dah berbadan dua ?

menyusur ranting berduri

Jika kerja anda atau anda hidup berkait dengan berhubung dengan manusia lain, tidak dapat tidak anda mesti memiliki kemahiran untuk bergaul dengan mereka. Manusia itu pelbagai sifatnya. Kalau anda tidak mahu sakiti hati mereka, anda kena buat kerja lebih lagi. Baca buku-buku psikologi.  Fahami mereka, secara bersendirian dan bersesama. Di situ ada kebaikan, dan darjat anda juga boleh diangkat kerananya. Sebaliknya, kecelakaan juga mungkin menimpa anda kalau anda tidak pandai menggauli mereka.

Dan aku hanya menasihati diriku sendiri.

takdir hidup yang terbaik untukku

Mungkin aku membaca kerana aku tak pernah berjodoh. Aku ada banyak masa lapang yang orang lain tak ada sebab aku tak berlaki, tak beranak. Orang lain penat-lelah layan laki, layan anak-anak, tapi aku lenggang kangkung. Aku pun tak suka tengok tv, sebab semua jalan cerita aku dah dapat agak. Aku tak pernah terhibur tengok watak-watak gedik. Tengok dokumentari bolehlah.

Bila anda membaca sebuah buku, anda bermain-main dengan idea si penulis. Anda bawa idea itu ke tidur anda. Anda baca buku itu sampai hancur kalau anda tak puas hati. Minda anda mendebatkan idea-idea itu. Anda setuju, atau anda bangkang. Tidak semua bacaan menjadikan anda seronok. Ada masa anda marah selepas membaca. Anda mengamuk dan baling buku ke dinding. Tapi lepas itu kutip balik untuk sambung baca.

"as is where is" clause

Apabila pembeli beli rumah sub-sale, akan ada klausa "as is where is" ini dalam perjanjian jual beli. Bermakna pembeli beli rumah tu dalam keadaan macam mana masa dia buat inspection sebelum beli tu. Sudah tentu pembeli kena inspect dulu sebelum beli. Jangan lepas tangan kat agen je.

Klausa ini mesti dimasukkan dalam perjanjian jual beli supaya tak berlaku silap faham antara pembeli dan penjual. Jangan bergaduh di kemudian hari. Ia satu bentuk perlindungan kepada penjual. Boleh juga menjadi perlindungan untuk pembeli.

Week 25 : 10 June to 16 June 2019

10 June              Wan berhenti kerja
11 June              Pi Pizza ufter Mak's buka puasa
12 June              Im naik ETS 11.30am. Budak baru masuk kerja.
13 June              Me and Mak posa.
14 June              Mak posa. Shahida buat kenduri kuey teow. Pi Aman Central. Buat spec baru.
                          An old corporate client from NS invited me to their Open House, a yearly event.
                          So, after one year, some things cleared..
15 June
16 June

of picking up

To keep track of my bills. To ensure smooth flow of work. To improve mnemonic system of my laws. To write creatively. To write creatively, honestly, creatively...

in the past

banyaknya alasan untuk bersyukur

Week 24 : 3 June 2019 to 9 June 2019

3 June
4 June
5 June            Hari Raya Puasa 2019
6 June            Pi Tikam Batu, Tupah, Singkiag, Bukit Besag
7 June            Hapit balik Melaka. Pi Aman Central, Tesco
8 June           
9 June            Kemas Stor

Week 23: 27th May to 2nd June

Not today - a few months ago

27 May          22 Ramadhan. Ayah meninggal 6 tahun lepas. Tak masak for breaking fast
28 May          Tak nak masak

Atop

Acik

29 May         
30 May          Goodbye Yoyen. Kad BIMB hilang.
31 May          Emi balik
1 June            Hapit balik
2 June 

My weight today is 60.5 kg 
My weight today 30 May is 59.8 kg

Week 22nd : 20th May till 26th May

20th May  Cuti Sebab Wesak. Basuh kolah. Im started mowing.
21st May   Yoyen n Stevie masuk kurungan. Maybelline foundation. The Sultan comes to the                                 mosque for Nuzul Quran function
22nd May   Nuzul Quran today. Ambil brg-brg di bilik sewa. Ina balik KL lepas buka posa
23rd May 
24th May 
25th May    Beli baju raya Im
26th May   

ramadhan

Ramadhan selalu membuka pintu-pintu kemungkinan

Tentang mudahnya berpuasa ganti dan berpuasa sunat
Tentang mudahnya solat ganti dan solat sunat 
Tentang mudahnya bertadarrus atau habiskan satu mashaf sekali setahun

Masihkah ada Ramadhan lagi ?

my bro Naim

probably the most good looking guy on Earth right now
whose image will help me write my first love novel
ha ha ha !

You know what ?
I had actually written my first love novel
but the publishing house has rejected it
Now is the the time to alter and rephrase
hu hu hu !

Week 21 : 13th till 19th May

Milford Sound

13th May    Absent from work. Bas Hajar 11.45 pm at Shahab Perdana. Mom fell off 
                    motorbike and sprained her knee. Sprained my foot at Menara Alor Setar 
                   green around 10.30pm

14th May    Online buying from Mazliza
15th May    Cleaned up fridge. Tudungs from BFF
16th May    
17th May
18th May     Ina sampai early morning
19th May     

frolic

Begitu jauh aku datang

Tiap-tiap hari untuk bekerja

Ya Allah, gugurkanlah dosa-dosaku kesemuanya kerananya

Peliharalah aku daripada mundar-mandir di maya siber

pada waktu bekerja

my best vacation

(Ratna and Dewi looking pretty)

I don't want overseas trips

I just want some time off with my goats

50

dinamika

selembut-lembut air
sediam-diam ubi

Week 20 : 6th till 12th April 2019

Autumn in New Zealand

6th May      1st Puasa      BS 5.6 at 5.18pm, 5.4 at 7.22 pm

7th May       Pi LHDN dgn Remie. Buka puasa sambal udang

8th May       Buka puasa temenung masak asam. Serawa pisang.
9th May      Buka puasa gulai udang. Serawa labu
10th May   Hujan lebat every day from 1 Ramadhan till today .H balik today until 13th. I wanted her
                   to experience country life as far as I could provide. Sampai pukul 6.00pm. Buka puasa
                   dengan Yusri and family.

11th May   Mom fell off motorbike and sprained her knee
12th May    Serawa jagung campur caca

sebersit cahaya di hujung terowong

Perjalanan kami telah jauh
Mungkin kami telah nampak cahaya di hujung terowong itu

Week 19 : 29th April until 5th May

29th April 2019   
30th April 2019
01st 0May 2019   Cuti. Potong rambut. Tanam pokok jarum 7 bilah atas tanah Che Gu Mat.
02nd May 2019    Buat kacang kuda pedas
3rd May 2019
4th May
5th May                Tengok anak bulan

yang akhir-akhir

Yang tinggal padaku hanya Al-Quran
dan kitab-kitab muktabar
Yang aku tak sempat menelaahnya ..

seven

I was unsure of myself
Always wanted to please those I loved

Week 18 : 22nd to 28th April

22/04/2019     PTD Kota Setar 9.30-10-25 am
                       IPPD Kota Setar Laporan polis tak boleh buat

23/04/2019     BDB Hq
                       IPPD Kota Setar

24/04/2019

25/04/2019    JR hantag pelam harum manis

26/04/2019    Pulut Pelam harum manis for breakfast
                      Pi Aman Central with the girls.
                      Kenduri Rumah Pak Su Ya lepas Isya. Sapna pun mai.

27/04/2019    Pi Nat Pendang. Sans Insun. Beli tomato, jambu, oren
                      Beli udang. Beli pokok jambu batu krekmekmot takde biji.

28/04/2019    Semai pokok pelam harum manis

flowers for Mom

I take heed of my mom's remark

I must write more slowly now

my handwriting looks nicer and neater too..

Pepasangan dalam Kabus Salji

Did you see the light ?

I am struggling with health issues..but I will never give up
My random  blood glucose  still yo-yo'ed from 4.3 to 8.6 around 5.40pm
And there are many other things about which I will never give up

Weight today is 61.3 kg, less 0.9 kg from last month
Been taking tomatoes and apples for a week now

Kacang Tanah

From Google

1. Fertility - ada folate

2. Fights Depression - ada tryptophan

3.  Stamina in bed (hah ha ha!)

4. Memory Power ada Vitamin B3

5. Blood Sugar Regulation - ada manganese

6. Protect from Cancer

7. Protects from Cardiovascular diseases

8. Prevents Gallstones

9. Lowers Cholesterol levels - ada copper

Antara lain..

buntang

ketika orang lain sibuk mencanang kebaikan diri

ampunkanlah semua dosa-dosaku

Week 17 : 15th till 21st April

15th : Proposal accepted.

16th : On leave. Appointment with doctor. Next appointment is 09/07/2019.

Today 17/04/2019 Went to Jitra and UUM, Sintok. Arrived office at 4.30 pm.

Today 18/04/2019  did IF from 9.00pm night before. Cleaned up kitchen. Very convenient - skip breakfast. Will take lunch around 1.20 pm. Done.

Today 20/04/2019 Bawak Mak dan Insun jalan-jalan Pendang my town. Sapna pun ikut.

Today 21/04/2019 At home completely. Tanam mulberi, Ixora, Jarum7bilah, sepit udang.
                               Nisfu Syaaban. Mak puasa.

my nieces

Arwah's daughters

Dah besar pun kamu..

shades of love

On the anniversary of my stroke (I didn't even know it)
I attended Mak Teh's matter at
Alor Setar Court Complex
In attendance : myself, Mom, Mak Teh and En Izmeen

On 15/04/2019
Proposed The Proposal and was accepted

life's lessons

I am looking for signs of burnout...
there's none
obviously

back to Momback to Nature

Bayar deposit bilik dan 2 bulan sewa pada 4 April 2019
A new life has begun
A ghost to overcome
A dream to fulfil
Give me two years
In the mean time, assign a new meaning
to Wednesdays and Fridays

sweet are the roses

only seven dates a day
only fifteen grapes a day
only three cloves of durian a day
only seven mangoesteens a day
only seven dokongs a day
all on different days
because I am already too sweet
far too sweet

Jotta 3

Today 9 April 2019

Beli pellet RM38-00 31/03/2019
Beli set lampu utk kambing RM13.90
Beli lampu spare
Beli buai RM450
Tengok bilik sewa baru 1/4/2019 selepas hujan lebat
Hujan lebat lantai bilikku di villa air bergenang 1/4/2019

Confirm bilik sewa 2 April 2019

delicious

I read this before I was 13
Am reading it again
Wondering now if I understood polygamy back then
(writing as if I understand them now ha ha!)
Am refining my understanding at this moment
Definitely looking at it from a different perspective
A new feeling
Am experiencing literal preservation of life values (1937 and of the present)
What an author !


Boboy Bambino given to Mom 26/03/2019

my bambino

 1 volume kacang pea hijau kisar
1 volume tepung gandum
1 volume tepung jagung
1/3 volume gula kisar
250 gram butter
A little Corn oil

Boboy lahir pada 23 Mac 2019

go ahead

clip my wings

when the going gets toughthe tough get going

Ia telah bertahun menjagaku dengan baik

Apa salahnya aku jaga ia dengan baik juga

Mendahulukan makanannya

Sebelum aku sendiri dapat makan

what's brewing ?

in my head

tuhan ambillah nyawaku

I have no self worth

I have nowhere to go